In which Loki sings
by illusionary science
Summary: Just because Thor has no understanding of Pop-culture doesn't mean that Loki is equally uniformed. Warning: Numerous Portal references are made.


A/N … I have no excuse for this. The sequel is up.

Loki grinned at Tony, the look one that suggested pure torture was about to commence. Tony glared back.

Loki opened his mouth and spoke "_This was a triumph_" he declared in a sing-song.

Tony considered the words. Where had he heard them before?

"_I'm making a note here, huge success_" the words were undoubtable familiar.

"_It's hard to overstate my satisfaction_" Loki gave another insane grin as it clicked.

No, that wasn't fair, he was a Norse god, and he didn't get to sing portal songs.

"_Annoying mortals, I'll do what I want, because I can_" Loki was singing to the actual tune now but Tony was just annoyed.

"That's not how it goes" Tony yelled at him, struggling slightly against his bindings. Loki wasn't allowed to butcher portal songs, especially not with Tony in the room.

"_For the good of everyone"_ Loki paused, considering, as though he didn't know the next line.

"_Except the ones who are dead" _When Tony got free, he was going to kill Loki, in every way imaginable, and some that weren't.

You didn't butcher Still Alive with Tony in the room, you just didn't.

"_But there's no sense crying over all your mistakes"_ Loki wandered over to the corner of the room and flicked a switch on a machine that seemed to exist only for that button. A set of speakers descended from the ceiling.

Tony glared, the pure stupidity of the situation momentarily shutting him up.

"_Cause you'll just keep on trying till it no longer takes"_ the speakers promptly started blasting the instrumental.

"That doesn't even make any sense" Tony had to shout to be heard over the speakers.

"_And the science gets done and you make a neat gun"_ Loki continued, jumping between actual lyrics and his own version, apparently at random.

"_For the people who are still alive" _Once again Loki sung the line with an insane smile.

"_I'm not even angry_" he went on, tapping his foot slightly to the beat.

"_I'm being so sincere right now"_ to Tony's complete and utter horror, Loki began to dance.

"_Even though he broke my bones and smashed me"_

"Yeah, well that one you brought upon yourself, and it was hilarious" Tony responded, trying to ignore the fact that Loki, god of mischief and lying, was dancing around the room and singing still alive

"_And tore things to pieces, and ripped everything else apart, as well"_

"If you're going to be all passive aggressive at least be specific"

"_As they burned it hurt because you had completely raised hell"_

"Umm, no, fairly certain that was you"

"_Now these points of data make a beautiful line" Tony_ sighed, Loki was showing no signs of letting up and his team had yet to make an appearance. It probably wouldn't bother him as much if Loki would stick to the original, but no, he had to add in his own bits and change half the lines.

"_And we're out of beta we're releasing on time. So I'm glad they got burned, think of all the things we've learned. For the people who are still alive" _Loki paused his dancing momentarily to see Tony still glaring at him.

"_Go ahead and leave me_" Tony frowned, was Loki taunting him _with song. _Well he supposed the name silver tongue was well deserved, but did he have to make his point using Portal, of all things.

"_I think I'd prefer to stay inside_" Loki grinned again. He was taunting him.

"I think I'd prefer if you shut up"

"_Maybe you'll find someone, now to help you" _Loki flicked the switch on another machine (when had he had time to make them all?) and a section of the floor opened, a pedestal rose from its center.

"_Maybe your teammates, that was a joke. Ha ha, fat chance" _on the top of the pedestal sat a meticulously decorated black forest cake, Tony knew what was coming next.

Wait, what was that about teammates?

"_Anyway this cake is great; it's so delicious and moist"_ Tony decided in that moment, that he had never hated someone so much as he did Loki, right then.

"_Look at me still talking when there's people to enslave_" Loki had begun wandering over to third machine. Each step he took slow and deliberate, he was enjoying this.

"_Cause when I look out there it makes me glad I'm not you"_

"Well I'm glad I'm not you as well, at least we can agree on something"

"_I've experiments to run"_

"I highly doubt that"

"_There is research to be done"_ Loki flipped the switch on the third machine, entirely ignoring Tony.

"You're not smart, you're not a scientist, you're not even a full time employee. See I can quote Portal too" Tony felt something lurch and the sound of grinding gears filled the air.

"_On the people who are still alive"_ with that statement, the metal panel Tony was strapped too began moving. Looking up revealed several large gears that would undoubtedly crush him.

"Shit"

"_And believe me I am still alive_" the metal panel was moving along at a very easy, relaxed pace.

Tony was frantically searching for a way to escape.

"_I'm doing science and I'm still alive" _Loki was still giving his insane grin, singing leisurely to himself, his eyes closed.

"_I feel fantastic and I'm still alive" _The metal panel was a couple of feet away from the gears now and Tony was quickly running out of options.

"_While you are dying I'll be still alive" _Tony noticed something flying towards him in the corner of his vision.

"_When you're dead I will be still alive_" It hit the gears with a very loud clang. The machine ground to a halt. Tony looked up surprised and Loki opened his eyes.

Imbedded in the gears was a metal shield.

Steve's shield.

Tony grinned; it had certainly taken them long enough.

Almost as soon as the thought had entered his head, Hulk burst through the wall and smashed straight into Loki. He went flying in an imitation of what would happen if a sack of potatoes were hit by a train, a very large, green, angry train.

The instrumental continued in the background whilst Natasha freed Tony.

The group had surround Loki, who was once more trying to catch his breath after a Hulk attack.

Wheezing and hacking Loki gave Tony a look of pure challenge "_Still alive_"

Tony kicked him in the head.

A/N yeah… I wrote that. I don't even know what caused it, but hey, it was fun.

In any case I'm thinking of doing a sequel, which will be fun.

Though if this upset you, or you just hated it, or whatever, please feel free to let me know.

That will probably not stop me from writing a sequel.


End file.
